25th March 1926 - 1st June 2010 Eulogy for Gwen Sankey (née O’Leary) Gwen O’Leary was born in India in 1929, the youngest of seven children comprising four boys and three girls. Having lost her father at the age of eight the family had many struggles. Nevertheless, she eventually managed to do a secretarial course and became a tip top secretary at the very prestigious Metal Box Company in Calcutta. She enjoyed her work but also stayed close to her family and many friends. It was not long before she met Douglas, a dashing young man in his sailor officer’s suit. They married in 1952. Douglas was an engineer by then and they lived in an amazing home with servants, including a chauffeur. Soon a nanny was required when the bald Baby Darryl was born, followed by the abundantly black mopped Baby Allyson two years later. Life was happy and secure and yet in 1960 they moved to England for the sake of their children’s education. It was an enormous sacrifice to give up a charmed life in India, say goodbye to worried family and friends and start all over again, alone in a cold, foreign place. In England Gwen and Douglas were determined and soon found jobs and both worked hard to provide another nice home for their children along with a good education and a better start in life. Once Darryl and Allyson were all grown up, Gwen and Douglas moved to America and then directly on to Australia with Douglas’ job but they came back, to Buckinghamshire in England, soon after the grandchildren started arriving to help the family out, driving for over one hour to babysit. When Douglas retired they moved to Brentwood to be closer to their cherished growing family and were able to pursue to the full their new hobby – grandchildren. Allyson and Rich, and Lorraine and Darryl were so grateful that Gwen and Douglas were such willing, capable grandparents who thoroughly enjoyed their family. Gwen was an amazing cook. Her speciality was in curries even if they were often too hot for most of us. Edward thought her tandoori chicken was the best. When the grandchildren stayed over at their house, she would cook them all breakfast and they would joke that the kitchen was like a café that wouldn’t close until they were all full!! If she knew you had a favourite thing to eat she would get in masses of it for you. When her niece, Lorraine, came to stay, there were probably no tins of evaporated milk left in the Brentwood supermarkets since Gwen knew that Lorraine lives on coffee made with evaporated milk! She was one of a kind; incredibly generous, strong minded and unique. Whilst we may not always have seen eye to eye or agreed with her views, she stuck by what she believed, stimulating healthy debates. She had been described as “The Godfather” of the family. She knew what was going on with everyone. The family was at the heart of everything in her life. There was nothing she wouldn’t do for them. Gwen was clever, wise and individual, very sharp, very wary, no one’s fool. She encouraged the family to watch out for all sorts of evils in the world, referring to newspaper articles and news items, always ending with the warning that we must maintain our “Dignity” at all times. Once an avid reader, she particularly loved Danielle Steele novels and taped film adaptations. Lindy remembers when she and her sisters were younger they would quiz her every time they saw her to tell them about what had happened in the book she was reading, and as they grew older they watched a couple of the film adaptations with her. She shared everything she could, including these tear jerkers to rouse the emotions. She also loved the gossip magazines, Hello and OK, and she encouraged the grandchildren to hear all about the stories, which would surely spark off yet another “dignity” warning. Gwen and Douglas spent numerous holidays in Florida with the family when the grandchildren were younger. They really enjoyed those holidays. Gwen would thrive on the shopping – she loved a bargain. Romford Market was a favourite haunt every Wednesday without fail. She liked to show you her shopping successes and would frown when Darryl teased, “if it’s that cheap, there must be something wrong with it”. She would return from any expedition laden with gifts for each member of the family. She was a giver and delighted in treating us all to lovely things. Gwen enjoyed nothing more than being with her family. All the grandchildren looked up to her and tried to aspire to her expectations. She took a keen interest in their school work and outside activities. She and Douglas attended numerous shows and concerts, swimming galas and prizegivings and school fetes. One event that she never missed was the bi-annual dance show that Janna, Lindy, Emily, Richelle, and later Brittany, were all in. Another passion of hers was Sport. She had a phenomenal knowledge of many sports. She thoroughly enjoyed watching football, tennis, Formula One, to name but a few, and it was very rare to visit them without Sky Sports being on. She even taped the wrestling religiously for James, although it was one of the only sports she didn’t start following herself. We have all enjoyed many a debate over the football with her supporting Chelsea or any team that was opposing Douglas’ beloved Manchester United!! Throughout her life, she gave a home to those in need without hesitation both within and outside the family. If anyone had a problem, she would pull out all the stops to fix it. It is sad that she will never get the chance to see her grandchildren be married or to meet her great-grandchildren or even to see her younger grandchildren graduate and go on to have careers. However, she will be looking down on us all with pride, the same pride that she has shown with their achievements to date. Gwen also loved her mother and brothers and sisters and grieved as she gradually saw each one of them pass away leaving her as the last remaining original O’Leary. She was proud of them all and of her early years with them in India. She would say that her nieces, Fay and Lorraine, were all she had left on that side of her family. Her regular communication with them from as far away as Africa and Australia meant a lot to Gwen. Lorraine even left her home and family in Australia to come over and care for her for several months prior to Gwen and Douglas having a permanent live-in carer in place. Your first and lasting impression of Gwen was that she was the most stylish, pretty woman, immaculately dressed every day. In her younger days in India people would eagerly wait to see what she had chosen to wear. She had good taste. Her hair, makeup, shoes, jewellery and handbag were always matching. She loved scarves and had the most amazing collection of beautiful handkerchiefs. She had plenty of clothes but would say that “you can never have enough clothes to wear.” Her female descendants agree! It was difficult to watch this colourful, lovely person become increasingly weak over the past few years. Darryl and Allyson tried so hard to help and support her in every way they could and gave great encouragement to help her deal with her health problems. So many others have been kind and supportive as well but, eventually, it was her time to go from us. We hope now that she is at peace. She was a wife, mother, grandmother, auntie and friend but most of all she was a strong and unique woman. She was one of a kind and has left a lasting impression on us all. It is a comforting thought that Gwen will now be reunited with her original family and will be making many new friends in Heaven. She should not be weak and restless and struggling for breath. Henry said it best “You always used to take care of me and now at least I know someone is taking care of you”. She should be happy and smiling down on all of us who loved her and miss her and, knowing her, she will be working out a way of sprinkling special angel dust on us to make everything right in our lives. God bless you, Gwen.